Right now I’m in a bit of a funk. And even though I’m not exactly sure why the tough get going all of a sudden when it gets tough, but I feel the urge to follow them.

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I don’t want to be stressed about money and relationships and work and school. I just want to be happy! Is that too hard to ask?! It’s unfortunate because I use to have such drive, and will, to accomplish huge life goals, yet after some hard blows, this train has gone off the rails. Because of this never-ending loop of doom I’m stuck in, I’ve decided to make some terrifying big changes.

 

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I’m going to figure out how to scrape up the money to apply (yes, only apply) to online school. And I’m going to look into applying at a local CC where they offer certification in American Sign Language. Now this is terrifying because if I get into school, I don’t know how I’ll pay for it. And anyone who has been in my situation will know that tuition money doesn’t pop out of the ground in Spring just waiting for the pulling; so that’ll be an interesting 88 degree battle. (That’s almost a 90 degree angle for those of you who didn’t take geometry.)

 

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I applied at Starbucks part time to continue the legacy that my Brother and soon to be Sister-in-Law have started. Mainly I applied there for a second job because I have only heard really good things about them as a company and there’s only drama because of the people who work there. A sound company with people drama? I can handle that! Also, if I make more money then maybe I won’t be so poor.

 

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I’m applying at a second part-time job to help with the stresses related to money. Yes it will suck up my free time, resulting in more stress in my relationships section. However, I think lessening the stress of only making enough to pay the bills and eat rice with beans will trump being crazy busy and potentially working 14 hour days.

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Ahhwww relationships. Sometimes they’re easy and sometimes they’re difficult and right now I am just trying to survive them. It is quite hard being away from my friends and family recently. I chalk it up to my good friend and my brother recently living alone; aka big life events that I wish I could share with them. And yes, I have seen their abodes while I’ve visited; but it’s tough knowing I can’t just go sit with my best friend and binge watch Netflix or go play video games with my brother. I figured it would start to get easier, but it hasn’t and that longing is getting real old. I know if I ever was too homesick I could take a few week hiatus from life and stay in my brother’s spare bedroom, the couch at my parent’s place or even crash with a good friend in Phoenix. I’m just afraid once I get a taste of how sweet all that may be, that I won’t want to come back to California. Which brings me to the dilemma: the one I love in California and the people I love in Arizona. It’s not like I don’t have friends in California who have helped me through some crazy shit, I do have some amazing friends here. So it must be my family who are sucking the fun out of living away from Tucson, thanks worst mother ever. (Don’t worry, side joke.)

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This has turned into a blog post mainly derived to help me be held accountable for all this shit I don’t want to actually commit to. Remember, I avoid goals that aren’t trivial these days. I’ll keep you updated on whether Starbucks wants another Frey in the company or if 1 ½ is already too much. I leave you with some inspirational quotes because they give me a false sense of hope that I need right now.

Great things never came from comfort zones

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I’m excited because I have my first featured Guest Post on this amazing blog A Faithful Passion!! I go over some very basic steps to keeping a strong long distance relationship with your family and friends. Check it out here!

Here’s a taste:

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Now that you’ve got a taste of the images, go check out the article!!

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Well…

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I’ve realized that it’s easier for me to network with a Facebook profile, in both my personal and blog life; mainly my blog life. I have decided to limit my time because honestly I have actually started doing more without the constant urge to check Facebook or Instagram.

I’ve read three books this week. I’ve gone on 9 hikes and I even bulked up 15 lbs worth of muscle. And obviously I’m lying. I have started reading again, which I missed and I am working out more but that’s because I just need to be healthier in general and stop watching so much Netflix before my brain melts into my couch. I’m not attached to my phone all the time which is nice. One day I actually just left it home while I ran errands and it was nice… Until I couldn’t remember if I had a certain food at home and had no way of calling Bryan real quick to find out. I suppose the invention of a cell phone wasn’t the worst idea ever.

I will admit I do miss seeing what is going on in my friend’s life given that I don’t see most of them on a regular basis anyway. Guess I have to implement some self-discipline. Let’s just say I doubt that goes well.

Alright, well if you’ve been able to keep up with that thought process then I commend you. I wish you all a lovely evening and someone eat some delicious, crispy fries for me!

 

The addiction is real. I spent most of Sunday night organizing this huge box of bathroom nonsense, watching 30 Rock and feeling like a Grade-A douche for constantly checking my phone to see the newest post or picture by my friends. And now today, I am plagued with a horrendous headache that is quite literally making me feel dizzy and extremely warm. Although I am sure my headache stems from caffeine withdrawals and not social media withdrawals…

Yesterday was better, but I still had the urge to check my social media. When I woke up I went to check Facebook and see the latest, but alas, I had no Facebook. Given it’s only been two days, I only notice I continue to check my phone when I’m on lunch. Normally during my lunch breaks I watch more 30 Rock and scroll through Instagram, but not anymore.

Today I have not had the urge to check Facebook, or scroll through my Blog Instagram. However, I must admit I do feel a bit like a hypocrite about the fact I still have a Blog Instagram… Buuut in my defense I don’t scroll through it and honestly I don’t care!

I do slightly feel like I am missing out on the events in my friend’s and family’s lives, but I figure if the events are important enough, I will receive a call or text.

In more exciting news, I am starting to eat healthy and work out again. We all know I should have never stopped. I am just uber excited to cut yummy, bad-for-me McDonald’s french fries out of my diet… I know, I know; I can make my own homemade yummy french fries, but it’s not the same! Plus they’d have to be baked anyway. And I very much dislike baked french fries and I know I’m not alone.

Well this has been a cluster of ideas that I actually had a thought-about order in my head before I actually sat down and started typing… Oh well! Enjoy your night and think of me eating brown rice and veggies while you savor your delicious cheese-filled dinner!
And even though my sarcasm drips off every “positive” change I’m making, I know the following statement in this little inspiration image is too true and I’ll be glad I started these changes now rather than later.

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PS- Wrote this yesterday, hence the off days and references. Too lazy to edit. 😉

Alright dudes and dudettes, I have an announcement. I have given this some serious thought and have seriously thought about this for some time now. I have decided that I am going to deactivate my Facebook page and get rid of my personal Instagram. I know a couple of you are having a panic attack at just the idea of disconnecting from the social media realm. I’ve read countless blog posts and articles on other people who have done this, and have yet to read this decision impacted their life negatively.

 

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I have come to this conclusion because I am tired of feeling like I have to, or need to, check my social media a couple times a day. Sure, I can just not check my apps, or social media sites, but I know myself well enough that when I want to avoid cleaning, or laundry, I’ll just mindlessly scroll through these sites.

 

Now I know the smart few of you caught that I’m only deactivating my Facebook, not completely deleting it. This is because seeing the pictures and receiving the updates from my family are a way for me to feel less homesick (living 8 hours away and all). I’m going to just deactivate it and see how I do for awhile. If I decide after the month I’m very homesick without seeing pictures posted by my family, then I will reactivate and just keep family around.

 

I am keeping my social media in regards to my blog; which is still a serious work in progress. But, life is life and sometime I just don’t want to reorganize my blog categories, ya know?

 

I have attached the links to my Facebook Blog Page (which is dismal, I know), my blog Instagram and my Blog twitter below.
I’m leaving my Facebook and Instagram active through Sunday night so I can get any emails and phone numbers I don’t have, that I wish I did.
If you want to still read my blog, you can like my blog page on Facebook and when I post, you will see the post in your stream; just like if I were to post a status update. And if you were tired of seeing my posts, then you don’t have to see anything from me ever again! You win and I win.

 

My Blog Facebook Page: Frey Your Mind
My blog Instagram is: @freyyourmind
My twitter is: @amber_frey

 

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

 

Well we all know consistency can be a hard trait to keep, and alas, I have fallen into an inconsistent pattern of posting. I am sorry, but only kinda.
I have been busy since the wedding; moving and the GISHWHES hunt this week have kept me pretty busy. Plus, we still have more boxes packed than unpacked, which sucks.
It’s such a bummer I can’t get my act together faster, because I have about 5 tutorials worth of images that just need some words attached to them!
Right now I’m just trying to figure out how to potentially go back to school, balance saving for my brother’s wedding present and paying rent on time. So here’s to all those millennials who could use a break, or two… Or eight.
Since, I am not giving you anything of real sustenance myself, here are some articles that I really enjoyed reading and felt they helped me light the fire under my ass.
A post about how one partner is optimistic and the other is a “realist” (or pessimist) by Elements of Style.
An article about setting goals by a certain age; fun and attainable goals by Kent Heartstrings.
This older post about a summer reading list; which made me realize I miss reading and have started again by Mandy Leigh.
Those of you who saw that lovely watercolor piece of cake, let it be known this is the video that inspired me by clover + dot.
Alright, well now that you guys are semi-amused (even thought I know you aren’t at all) I’m leaving you with this beautiful sentiment. Read it. Memorize it. Let it soak into your pores and stay there forever. Use it as a pillow. Or just throw it away. Whatever you decide to do, just know I made it myself!
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Alright ladies and gents. I think those of you who frequent the DIY & Crafts and Hair & Beauty sections on Pinterest (check out mine btw!) have seen that foot bath to rid yourself of dry skin using mouth wash. You know, the one below; which, I have no idea where it originated to give credit BTW, so sorry in advance.

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Well, I did it. I didn’t use Listerine because we have the regular store brand kind of mouthwash, but I’m sure it was basically the alcohol that’s needed anyway.
So you mix ¼ cup Mouthwash, ¼ cup Vinegar and ½ cup warm water. Well I can tell you a cup of water isn’t going to cover your foot unless you have the perfect foot-sized bowl lying around. I ended up (roughly) using 1/3 cup mouthwash, 4 cups warm water and 1 cup of vinegar. After I realized how little liquid the original recipe was, I just sort of poured more in by eye.
While the dead skin didn’t wipe off, it definitely was easy to buff away. I made a simple sugar/olive oil scrub and massaged my feet after for a couple minutes and my feet were unbelievably smooth. I have built some serious soccer calluses over the years and I nearly cut down the entire rough parts on my heels. So I’d say this Pinterest test was two thumbs up.
I’ll probably start doing more of these because everything is on Pinterest and I like to see if they even work! Stick around and see if my stuff turns into Pinterest Fail worthy attempts.

Finally, the reveal. Why was I on such a strict eating plan and constant work-out routine? I’ll tell you…
Because my bridesmaid dress DID NOT FIT. AT. ALL. As most big-booty girls can attest to, I had help pulling the dress over my head because there was no way in Hell it would fit being pulled up my hips and butt.
Finally, a month ago I decided to try on my dress for the first time since I got it back in January. As fate would have it, the dress would not go over my hips. Obviously upset, I embarked on a mission to lose some inches and squeeze myself into that dress. At just a month away a new dress would not make it in time and I really didn’t have the money to purchase a new one anyway.
That is why for a month I had an extremely strict diet and vigorous work-out routine… Well vigorous for me. I ate healthier than I ever think I have in my life and I started slimming up.
So did I fit in my dress or what? I DID.

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Thanks to some alterations, that baby hugged me tighter than a Mama with a newborn. I was able to stand, walk, sit, dance and even occasionally (or not so occasionally) bend over to grab the train to protect Amanda’s dress from the cacti and dirt. It was a successful month and an ever more successful wedding.

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Will I stay with my new found intense plan? To a degree. I will enjoy the occasional coke with my buffalo chicken pizza, but for the most part it looks like I will have a plant-heavy diet. Bring on the legumes, rice and mushrooms! I have also adjusted my finances and might be able to pay for a gym membership and join my partner for evening workout sessions. And by join my partner I mean: I’ll haphazardly run, lift weights and stretch while he pumps some serious iron… Like multiple 100’s here.

Anywho. I’m going to go do something productive, like start packing the kitchen, or watch Netflix; either way I know it’ll be invigorating.
I’ll leave you with some more lovely photos!

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This week has been interesting. I have noticed some changes since I’ve started eating healthier and actually sticking to working out.
1. I am tired a lot of the time… Which means I need to hone in on my diet and what nutrients I’m getting and where.
2. I hope I don’t jinx myself, but I have yet to get a caffeine headache which I would have usually had 3 by now… Maybe it is because I only have “good stuff” going through my veins and not shit food.
3. I feel more awake when I’m not tired; I know that doesn’t make sense. But I feel like I have more energy in the times I’m not feeling exhausted.
4. I actually have a feeling of hunger in my stomach… I haven’t been “hungry” in almost a year; I’ve just known I need to eat to keep going.

So overall I am doing okay on paper. In real life, I am beyond craving these amazing breadsticks from this small Mom & Pop Pizza joint in Marana, AZ. Thanks to a certain best friend of mine, I have now decided these are what I’m working towards (along with my dress). They are my reward food to throw away the last month with deliciousness. Now, now; I’m not going to stop eating healthy, but this coming Wedding weekend is my free-for-all of food, my Woodstock of food instead of drugs or sex.

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I also plan on eating at Eegee’s when we get into town on Tuesday night because it’s WATERMELON month and the best month ever. For those of you who do not know what an Eegee’s is, let me try to explain. For my Southern Cali friends, it is sort of like Joe’s Italian Ice, but without being almost as soft as a sorbet… Those of you who have never experienced either one, please put these yummy treats on your food bucket list when in Tucson, or Anaheim. (Also, Joe’s was supposed to be building a location in Phoenix last I heard, so maybe Phoenix too.)

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I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE YUMMY and BAD-FOR-ME-FOOD.
It’s not that this health food “cleanse” is killing me, but I miss my occasional French fries, or yummy lentil tacos that were way too spicy and sourdough pretzels.

I know the gratification of getting healthy will keep me going after the month is up, I can sense the cravings for “bad” foods already leaving my system… Except those damn breadsticks.

So what have I been eating you ask? Why, let me share it with you!
Homemade apple, ginger, carrot juice
Homemade kale, beet, celery, zucchini, strawberry juice
So many carrots Bugs Bunny would lose his mind
Apples, grapefruit, strawberries and oranges
Spinach, celery, more carrots, cucumber
I did have a small portion of black beans; which felt like cheating, but isn’t.

Mmmmm don’t you just sense how delicious all of that is.
Honestly, I’m just being bitter today because I’ve had some intense soda cravings and I could totally eat an entire bag of kettle cooked chips with an avocado and cheese right now.
But hey, I never said I wouldn’t have some fooditude days (that’s attitude and food together, Dad). I actually warned my partner at the beginning of this (a whole 7 days ago) that I might have some addict temptations and qualities given I am breaking myself from the perfection that is unhealthy foods.

I have realized my body doesn’t even realize what running is anymore. My calf muscles don’t know how to work. I am not even kidding; God how I wish I was. My right foot falls uneven and likes to take this uneven path down so I almost roll it every step; which is just awesome. It looks like I’m about to put my foot down and realize there’s a kitten underneath it so I move it abruptly.

I listen to music while I run and it helps me keep going. Plus, Lil Wayne and Tech N9ne are just the perfect cocky artists to run with to help you to keep going. Plus, their beats are the perfect jogging pace.
Well, I’m going to go run until I feel like I’m in shape, which will probably be in weeks…

To start, I know I said my next post would be a tutorial, but it’s not, so oops….

What can you accomplish in 24 days? Kick a bad habit; i.e. biting your nails, caffeine, fast food? Grow a decent beard? Potentially learn a language if you are a genius? 24 days isn’t that long of a time if you give it any thought. It isn’t even a full month. Right now however, 24 days feels like it’s an eternity away and one hell of an uphill battle. Why you may ask? Am I learning a language? No. We all know I might be “smart” but am no genius. Am I kicking a bad habit? Sort of…

In 24 days I am starring as a Maid of Honor in one of my best friend’s Weddings. Should I not be counting down the days out of excitement and overwhelming joy for my two friends? Yes. And I am, more than the soon-to-be Bride even (well maybe!). I can’t wait to see her walk down the aisle and I am going to do my absolute best not to cry like an idiot, which I know I won’t accomplish that goal; but it’s nice to think. As always, however, I digress…

Why oh why is 25 days going to seem like an uphill battle? Because I don’t fit into my dress like I’d like to. What am I going to do about this? Embark on a healthier lifestyle in general; which I’ve semi-been-meaning to start anyway. This is just the kick in the ass I needed!

Surprisingly, I don’t need any lectures on ‘you’re beautiful inside and out’ and all those other clichés. If you stick around after the 25 days, I’ll tell you the rest of the story. The part of the story that will make you wish you had never told me not to worry how I look. (Did you get the hint to be assured there is a viable reason I am embarking on this journey? I hope so. Plus I’m going to be healthier, so who cares why I start?)

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I have already started my “altered eating plan” and I have started being active daily. I am avoiding the word diet because I want to continue eating healthy after the next 25 days, and don’t want to fall off the horse. Basically I will be drinking a lot of my meals in juice form and eating a substantial amount of vegetables and some fruit. I will be experimenting with an almost raw, completely vegan meal plan. Well, that is after I finish the eggs I just bought before I realized my situation; I am not going to waste food.

I have started jogging, well my attempt anyway, given I am grossly out of shape. I have started doing these fitness videos off the internet, they are called Fitness Blender and they have free options that really show me how much further I am out of shape; but I’m sticking with it!

I’m also staying active with the help of that wonderful partner of mine. He only is a tiny bit irritating with all of his positive energy and constant encouragement. Plus, my jog is barely walking fast for him, so he’s obviously just doing this to provide me with company while I try and remember how to run.

Join me on this journey through taking out meat, dairy, processed shit that I love, hard sourdough pretzels (they deserve their own category), caffeine (which I haven’t gone a day without in probably years), and other stuff that isn’t good for you.  On this journey I am sure I will hate myself for starting this, but it’s about time I set my mind to something and actually do it. Because if I don’t, it won’t be pretty. And I don’t mean I won’t be pretty, I mean it won’t be pretty.

Also, I will try and keep a log and at the end of the week to tell you all the super delicious vegetables I ate over and over and over again! Those of you who know my day-to-day, will know this is going to be one good chuckle-fest to see how I cope. Enjoy!

Welcome!

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Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall. - Ray Bradbury


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